This is the day the Lord has made. It has to be. I mean geeps people. It is snowing once again today- we are in a bit of a hiatus right now, but earlier it was comin down. So I decided to take a walk. I bundles up and headed out into the blistery winter. (It's 30 right now)
It is like the movies out there. Seriously, it is so gorgeous. As I was walking, of course I was thinking. I was thinking about how happy the snow makes me. On a day like today, anything could happen, and I would still be happy, because it's so dang pretty. Actually, as I was walking, a small child called me a butt sucker- and it didn't even phase me (ok, that's totally unture, but I bet if it HAD happened, it wouldn't have phased me). On a day like today, I bet I could slip on the ice, break my femur, and I would be ok as long as the hospital had a window.
So here's where I'm going. What if we could see this much beauty in the world around us all the time. There's a LOT of beautiful things out there beside just snow. What if we could see them for how beautiful they are. I bet that would change out perspective on a lot of things. And I bet it would make us people that were just generally happier in the world.
mmmm snow
p.s. this snow does not help my ability to get work done. I am quite distrait
Wednesday, November 28, 2007
Tuesday, November 27, 2007
the first snow!
Today marks the first snow here in Salt Lake City! I saw on my iPhone that is was supposed to snow today, but the Apple gods have been wrong before. I kept peeking outside- lifting one of the 2" blinds to see if anything was white yet. It wasn't. Every time I would approach the window with hope... and leave with disappointment. Finally, I became engrossed in my work. Then Diana came home and said, "You aren't watching the snow?"
The world was white- a winter wonderland. I am always amazed at how God can change how EVERYTHING looks in the matter of a few hours. All of the colors of cars and buildings, the nicely manicured lawns, everything we have worked so hard to keep pristine, is almost instantly bleached- and it stretches for as far as the eye can see.
The thing about snow is that it makes me incredibly anxious. The snow itself I love. The thought of my car driving across it terrifies me. I have only driven in the snow about 10-15 times. One of those times I wrecked my mother-in-law's Land Cruiser. She knew I would. I'm from Florida after all.
That was probably the last time I drove in the snow... before tonight. That's one of the reasons I was excited about moving to Utah. You know, face your fears and all. After a full winter, surely I'll be ok- unless I kill someone first.
Oh, and about tonight. It was hardly driving in the snow. The roads were wet. It was 39 degrees. The only time I was actually ON snow was in my driveway for maybe 3 seconds. maybe... Still, I feel as though it was a good first step
The world was white- a winter wonderland. I am always amazed at how God can change how EVERYTHING looks in the matter of a few hours. All of the colors of cars and buildings, the nicely manicured lawns, everything we have worked so hard to keep pristine, is almost instantly bleached- and it stretches for as far as the eye can see.
The thing about snow is that it makes me incredibly anxious. The snow itself I love. The thought of my car driving across it terrifies me. I have only driven in the snow about 10-15 times. One of those times I wrecked my mother-in-law's Land Cruiser. She knew I would. I'm from Florida after all.
That was probably the last time I drove in the snow... before tonight. That's one of the reasons I was excited about moving to Utah. You know, face your fears and all. After a full winter, surely I'll be ok- unless I kill someone first.
Oh, and about tonight. It was hardly driving in the snow. The roads were wet. It was 39 degrees. The only time I was actually ON snow was in my driveway for maybe 3 seconds. maybe... Still, I feel as though it was a good first step
Monday, November 26, 2007
titleless
so im sitting down in south florida, i think all of you know i moved down here except maybe chin. so yeah im sitting down here in the coffee shop that i work in, and i will be coaching my first soccer game later today. i dont know if we will have enough players or not, but i am at least hopeful that we will. the reason im writing in here today is two fold, primarily i think that a college reading level is far to high for any blog i am a contributor to, and secondarily i am on the verge of making a big decision. tertiarily (i dont know if that is a word) i havent written in awhile so i feel a little guilty about that. so the big decision...well as i was moving down to so fla, i get this phone call from a church up in atlanta and they want me to come and be their high school youth pastor. the church is a really cool, and i think that id be into the ministry there, and just the vision of the church as a whole, but the timing is just so weird. i really dont know what to make of it, i dont know whether to think of course i wont do it, i just made a decision, or to think wow God you are moving in at the last minute to take me to what you want me to do. part of me also wonders if im just hiding down here in south florida, if im just doing things that wont challenge me, just because i dont want to have to engage in life in general...
so i think i need to tell this church today if i want them to fly me up there to check it out, and the salary at this church is rather robust, and thats fairly appealing to me, because as it stands down here, im not sure im gonna make it financially... i guess ultimately im writing this in hopes that doing so will help me make a decision about exploring this opportunity or not, ive gotten so much mixed advice that its really too much to even write about, but it is kinda driving me crazy...as soon as i find some place that i think i can engage in, and a city that i can love, and watch God heal with the gospel, as soon as i get there something comes up that makes me question it...
i dont love this decisionmaking phase of life... but i do have a sneaking feeling that peace is just around the bend...
piece
so i think i need to tell this church today if i want them to fly me up there to check it out, and the salary at this church is rather robust, and thats fairly appealing to me, because as it stands down here, im not sure im gonna make it financially... i guess ultimately im writing this in hopes that doing so will help me make a decision about exploring this opportunity or not, ive gotten so much mixed advice that its really too much to even write about, but it is kinda driving me crazy...as soon as i find some place that i think i can engage in, and a city that i can love, and watch God heal with the gospel, as soon as i get there something comes up that makes me question it...
i dont love this decisionmaking phase of life... but i do have a sneaking feeling that peace is just around the bend...
piece
Monday, November 19, 2007
levantelo!
It is my preponderance that if we, being intelligent young lads, were to write with a greater sense of eloquence, a more profound diction, and a more deeply soulful rendition of our inmost being onto these pages, which are, as of now, reduced to a mere smattering of letters formed into seemingly adventitious words strewn about an HTML document, cascading toward the loonshit as we, the contributing scribes watch the eminent downfall of what could have been rendered as an unstinting gift to the reading population of this said blog.
Also, I propose this following suggestion for your consideration- if we, as a united whole, were to collectively oust our dear chap, Mr. Daniel Franklin from the realm of contribution, that our aggregate "blog reading level" not would undergo an abundant amplification as a consequence.
If, in your wildest contrivances, you have reasoned that my insanely abundant use of words that are inappropriately advanced and preference for sentences that are seemingly endless was a preposterous attempt to improve the reading level of the aforementioned blog, and that I may have referred to thesaurus.com on various and sundry occasions, and on at least two occurences found it necessary to research the veritable meaning of those words on dictionary.com, then you, my dearest companion, would be very undistorted in assuming such an assumption.
Also, I propose this following suggestion for your consideration- if we, as a united whole, were to collectively oust our dear chap, Mr. Daniel Franklin from the realm of contribution, that our aggregate "blog reading level" not would undergo an abundant amplification as a consequence.
If, in your wildest contrivances, you have reasoned that my insanely abundant use of words that are inappropriately advanced and preference for sentences that are seemingly endless was a preposterous attempt to improve the reading level of the aforementioned blog, and that I may have referred to thesaurus.com on various and sundry occasions, and on at least two occurences found it necessary to research the veritable meaning of those words on dictionary.com, then you, my dearest companion, would be very undistorted in assuming such an assumption.
Sunday, November 18, 2007
Shivery Discourse
As I sit on my front porch,
Hoping to be struck by inspiration
From the heavens above perhaps,
All I can think of is my new jacket
With seater underneath
That are keeping me oh, so warm.
It's not even winter yet
And the mercury will drop below 30 tonight.
The trees that were so delightful a week ago,
Clothed in their red, yellow, and orange garments
Are now a sign of the darkness and gloom
That we must endure for the next 3 months.
With their bare, gangly limbs,
Sagging in their naked shame and despair.
Their leaves are now withering brown
On my lawn that I just raked yesterday.
I miss the sounds of the birds and cicadas
That once filled the summer air.
A dog barking in the distance--
Probably aching from the cold
With frozen snot hanging from his nose--
Is the only sign of life in this God-forsaken place.
Now I know why the settlers of this land
Look so grim in portraits.
God, I miss Florida.
Hoping to be struck by inspiration
From the heavens above perhaps,
All I can think of is my new jacket
With seater underneath
That are keeping me oh, so warm.
It's not even winter yet
And the mercury will drop below 30 tonight.
The trees that were so delightful a week ago,
Clothed in their red, yellow, and orange garments
Are now a sign of the darkness and gloom
That we must endure for the next 3 months.
With their bare, gangly limbs,
Sagging in their naked shame and despair.
Their leaves are now withering brown
On my lawn that I just raked yesterday.
I miss the sounds of the birds and cicadas
That once filled the summer air.
A dog barking in the distance--
Probably aching from the cold
With frozen snot hanging from his nose--
Is the only sign of life in this God-forsaken place.
Now I know why the settlers of this land
Look so grim in portraits.
God, I miss Florida.
Tuesday, November 13, 2007
Saturday, November 10, 2007
blue- If i were green i would die
Feeling left out of the melancholy, so here's my shot at it.
His cell was black. All black. The walls were covered in a texture that he had never experienced before, and that he could never describe afterward. The ceiling was low- too low. It forced him to hunch over as he paced back and forth. Three steps each way. Small steps. The coldness of the air made him shiver to keep warm, and I wish I could tell you that it worked.
The floor was covered in an inch of water form wall to wall, and the air was filled with the resulting dingy dampness and a stench that made him pray to lose his senses.
Month after month he allowed his fingernails to grow out, and the grime to collect beneath them. Finally they were long enough and he dug them into his chest. He jabbed them in, further and further, forcing them through his bones, each one cracking under the pressure. And then he pulled, as hard as he possibly could, wrenching his chest open. He knew that inside, there was something alive, something that was not so… black. He thrust his hand around his heart and pulled it out, covered in blood. As he wiped it on the wall, he realized that it disappeared. It was enveloped by the black. It faded into every other color that had been wiped on those walls by those who had suffered in his cell before him. The texture of the walls was the attempt of he predecessors to do the same thing he had wanted to do- see life. See hope. They all failed.
His cell door is open, but he will not walk out. He knows this hell can end whenever he wants, but he would have to let someone else help. So he stays. He tries to find life on his own. He tries to bring life to his cell, but he fails. Over and over he fails.
His cell was black. All black. The walls were covered in a texture that he had never experienced before, and that he could never describe afterward. The ceiling was low- too low. It forced him to hunch over as he paced back and forth. Three steps each way. Small steps. The coldness of the air made him shiver to keep warm, and I wish I could tell you that it worked.
The floor was covered in an inch of water form wall to wall, and the air was filled with the resulting dingy dampness and a stench that made him pray to lose his senses.
Month after month he allowed his fingernails to grow out, and the grime to collect beneath them. Finally they were long enough and he dug them into his chest. He jabbed them in, further and further, forcing them through his bones, each one cracking under the pressure. And then he pulled, as hard as he possibly could, wrenching his chest open. He knew that inside, there was something alive, something that was not so… black. He thrust his hand around his heart and pulled it out, covered in blood. As he wiped it on the wall, he realized that it disappeared. It was enveloped by the black. It faded into every other color that had been wiped on those walls by those who had suffered in his cell before him. The texture of the walls was the attempt of he predecessors to do the same thing he had wanted to do- see life. See hope. They all failed.
His cell door is open, but he will not walk out. He knows this hell can end whenever he wants, but he would have to let someone else help. So he stays. He tries to find life on his own. He tries to bring life to his cell, but he fails. Over and over he fails.
Friday, November 9, 2007
hey, so do i!
the church that gentry and i go to is very mission oriented. and i don't mean they send people on 20 different mission trips each year (3 of those to the carribean for the youth) or watch slideshows from missionaries. no, everything they do is mission-focused. this is even the main idea of the vision statement: Uplift, Prepare, Send. a couple sundays a month there is a 'ministry spotlight' during the service, where a video is shown or someone from a ministry gets up to share what they're doing and how it is used to reach the community or the world. heck, the youth pastor was even a missionary in kenya for 3 years. yes, they do a whole bunch of mission trips every year, but only to specific places where they have built relationships (no, none in the carribean).
i say all this, not to brag on my church, but because i'm going somewhere with this and the weekly focus on missions (near and far) has a part to play. when you hear someone talk about missions every week, it makes you start to think about where God might take you. and since my ministry will most likely be within the local church, i have to be willing to go to any church God might send me. but am i? i can say that i would go live in kenya if God wanted me too, but it's another thing to actually do it. heck, going to california is too far for me. i want to be close to my friends and family. east of the mississippi and south of the mason-dixon.
so what does this mean? does it mean that i'm not ready to go into the ministry? maybe. but i'm in seminary for a reason. so i have the next 3 years to prepare my heart. but what if God tells me tomorrow to move to ukraine? well, if God literally tells me, i think that'll be life-changing enough to make me go. but i know that i have prayer, the word of God, and wiser, older, Godly people who can help me. i also have a wife who has better discernment than i do, and will help me in knowing my call. i'm pretty sure, though, that i'm supposed to graduate from seminary.
i don't know where i'll be in (roughly) 3 years, and that's scary and exciting at the same time. but i know i must hold on loosely to everything i have and know. i must be ready at all times to abandon my life here for God's glory somewhere else. suitcase packed, passport in hand....
i say all this, not to brag on my church, but because i'm going somewhere with this and the weekly focus on missions (near and far) has a part to play. when you hear someone talk about missions every week, it makes you start to think about where God might take you. and since my ministry will most likely be within the local church, i have to be willing to go to any church God might send me. but am i? i can say that i would go live in kenya if God wanted me too, but it's another thing to actually do it. heck, going to california is too far for me. i want to be close to my friends and family. east of the mississippi and south of the mason-dixon.
so what does this mean? does it mean that i'm not ready to go into the ministry? maybe. but i'm in seminary for a reason. so i have the next 3 years to prepare my heart. but what if God tells me tomorrow to move to ukraine? well, if God literally tells me, i think that'll be life-changing enough to make me go. but i know that i have prayer, the word of God, and wiser, older, Godly people who can help me. i also have a wife who has better discernment than i do, and will help me in knowing my call. i'm pretty sure, though, that i'm supposed to graduate from seminary.
i don't know where i'll be in (roughly) 3 years, and that's scary and exciting at the same time. but i know i must hold on loosely to everything i have and know. i must be ready at all times to abandon my life here for God's glory somewhere else. suitcase packed, passport in hand....
Tuesday, November 6, 2007
I go to church too
Sometimes I'm not sure why. But I go to church every Sunday. Well I used to. It all seems a bit monotonous sometimes. That's probably my bad.
Any-who. We're in Salt Lake City now. AHHH. Who does that? Who moves to Mormonville on their own volition? (where does volition come from. from the word volatile?) There is aparently virtually NO Christian church up here. It's strange to people watch and think that those people potentially believe some of the weirdest crap imaginable (more on that later). Needles to say, I am in the minority here.
The Christian church is very small and apparently very shallow. I think I might be ok with the shallow thing though. We went to a new church (one of the biggest around- about 400 peeps) on Sunday and it was raw. It surprised me. We walked into the "lobby" and the first words I heard were "I'm so f*$&ing tired" from a twenty-something sipping her pre-service coffee. We walked into a warehouse type building and I was quickly realizing that this was a bit more rough that just "rough around the edges". These people looked more like they belonged in a bar. The church building was run down- it was a concrete floor, painted, with chips all over.
I was shocked until I realized that this is what I have been looking for. I have wanted an escape from a world where, on Sunday mornings at least, everything is perfect. I don't really want to be around people right now that are telling me that they are ok when they are really dying. And I think I was most happy to be in a church that hadn't put more money into their building than they had into the rest of what a church is supposed to be here for. I'm looking for a church that is not about seeming to be someone beside who they are.
I'm excited to find that church. This could be the place. A place where people haven't been told their whole life that a Christian looks like ( ) this.
Monday, November 5, 2007
lee greenwood would be proud (to be an american)
i feel gay for referencing 'friends,' but it's kinda like that episode where joey (or maybe phoebe) says that there is no such thing as a selfless act. the argument is that so called 'selfless acts' still make the doer feel good, and therefore have a selfish motive involved--would you do a selfless act if it hurt you? but with God there is such thing as a selfless act. obviously Jesus made the ultimate selfless act, but doing something simply because we are called to do it as a christian makes for a selfless act.
you see what just happened? the introduction of God/Christ makes a simple 'good deed' worthwhile because it is being done for the sake of Heaven and not for the sake of happy feelings. i've noticed this frequently in our world since being here in the lou. one big way this comes to mind was mentioned in my biblical counseling class. there is a guy who made revolutionary changes to the area of counseling by making people responsible for their problems, admitting it, and asking for forgiveness from anyone they hurt because of it. but what's missing from this? God (or more specifically, sanctification). confession of sins to ourselves and others is good, but comes up short without sanctification through the Holy Spirit which brings renewal.
just like tim kind of alluded to, we must be careful when it comes to things the world deems as good. usually the problem/difference is found and made clear by looking for slight tweakings (spellcheck says that's not a word, but i beg to differ) in the language used. for instance, notice above how i said 'problems' originally instead of 'sins'. also, tim heard 'good quips' and was encouraged to do 'good things'.
on a completely different note, go to maps.google.com and past the coordinates below into the search bar. don't ask how i came upon. i don't know. but it makes me proud.....
2.779212, 32.364564
you see what just happened? the introduction of God/Christ makes a simple 'good deed' worthwhile because it is being done for the sake of Heaven and not for the sake of happy feelings. i've noticed this frequently in our world since being here in the lou. one big way this comes to mind was mentioned in my biblical counseling class. there is a guy who made revolutionary changes to the area of counseling by making people responsible for their problems, admitting it, and asking for forgiveness from anyone they hurt because of it. but what's missing from this? God (or more specifically, sanctification). confession of sins to ourselves and others is good, but comes up short without sanctification through the Holy Spirit which brings renewal.
just like tim kind of alluded to, we must be careful when it comes to things the world deems as good. usually the problem/difference is found and made clear by looking for slight tweakings (spellcheck says that's not a word, but i beg to differ) in the language used. for instance, notice above how i said 'problems' originally instead of 'sins'. also, tim heard 'good quips' and was encouraged to do 'good things'.
on a completely different note, go to maps.google.com and past the coordinates below into the search bar. don't ask how i came upon. i don't know. but it makes me proud.....
2.779212, 32.364564
Sunday, November 4, 2007
Adventures in not playing guitar
Today was the one Sunday I had off from playing guitar at Summit for November. Multiple thoughts ran through my head about how I should spend my weekend. Get away, go camping, canoeing, take the bike out for a spin, but at least do something. What can I say, I'm lazy and just hung around town. (Although yesterday was terrible...my irrigation exploded and I was covered in mud and water fixing a problem that I didn't expect to exist...and in the meantime left the bike on and killed the battery, rendering it useless for the day...ruining my chances at a day of productivity...but that's all side bar information.)
I decided to spend my morning attending two churches of two denominations of which I had never been to before: Presbyterian and Unitarian Universalist. Two very different, but very similar experiences. Both services were topically the same: service. Serving others. Being more selfless. (Which made me think, OK, God, what are you saying here??)
The Presbos were awesome. This ancient couple (the guy was from England!) sat next to me and we chatted and they were so friendly (People who care!) and I think we might do lunch this week. There was joy and celebration and laughter and awkwardness and beauty and love and grace and power.
The UU service was strange. Didn't know what to expect, really. It seemed somewhat cultish, or secret society (without a secret) at best. I had to put on a nametag and sing a song out of a book they refused to call a hymnal. We lit the Truth Chalice at the beginning and extinguished it at the end, both times reading in unison quips of truth and light and love and warmth and community. I had to stand and say my name and why I was there. We shared our Joys and Concerns without praying for them. We kept one another "in our thoughts". I was corned and asked about my background, and told that I was always welcome and that it was hoped upon my return. I met some deranged lady in the parking lot who insisted on talking to me while I was on the phone, and somehow came to the conclusion that I was from Souix City. I suppose they are right in a church service, but it was more of a societal gathering.
In both services service was highlighted. Do good to those around you. Notice invitations to serve others. Don't just intellectualize, take action! Live deliberately...for others and to serve God. As I walked out of the building that had intrigued me since I first saw it, I wondered what the difference was between the two services. Essentially the same message. Why was there no power in the second one? I left the first service geared up and ready to do big things...and left the second wondering what hope or motivation there was for serving.
I climbed into my car in the midst of rumination, and turned it on. I hit play on my iPod, and David Crowder's You Alone was next on the randomized playlist. As I sang the words along with him, my eyes welled up with tears and I was never so proud to be a Christian. The irony struck me of leaving a powerless church that touts each spiritual journey as individual, that it doesn't matter who you serve -- juxtaposed with the lyrics of the song:
You alone are Father
You alone are good
You alone are Saviour
You alone are GOD.
Praise God for his redemption of fallen man, however that looks in eternity. As for my individual spiritual journey, I am pleased and honored to serve a King. I am grateful for His sacrifice. I am honored to be called His son. For me, today, there is power in the name of Jesus. I am my Beloved's and He is mine.
I decided to spend my morning attending two churches of two denominations of which I had never been to before: Presbyterian and Unitarian Universalist. Two very different, but very similar experiences. Both services were topically the same: service. Serving others. Being more selfless. (Which made me think, OK, God, what are you saying here??)
The Presbos were awesome. This ancient couple (the guy was from England!) sat next to me and we chatted and they were so friendly (People who care!) and I think we might do lunch this week. There was joy and celebration and laughter and awkwardness and beauty and love and grace and power.
The UU service was strange. Didn't know what to expect, really. It seemed somewhat cultish, or secret society (without a secret) at best. I had to put on a nametag and sing a song out of a book they refused to call a hymnal. We lit the Truth Chalice at the beginning and extinguished it at the end, both times reading in unison quips of truth and light and love and warmth and community. I had to stand and say my name and why I was there. We shared our Joys and Concerns without praying for them. We kept one another "in our thoughts". I was corned and asked about my background, and told that I was always welcome and that it was hoped upon my return. I met some deranged lady in the parking lot who insisted on talking to me while I was on the phone, and somehow came to the conclusion that I was from Souix City. I suppose they are right in a church service, but it was more of a societal gathering.
In both services service was highlighted. Do good to those around you. Notice invitations to serve others. Don't just intellectualize, take action! Live deliberately...for others and to serve God. As I walked out of the building that had intrigued me since I first saw it, I wondered what the difference was between the two services. Essentially the same message. Why was there no power in the second one? I left the first service geared up and ready to do big things...and left the second wondering what hope or motivation there was for serving.
I climbed into my car in the midst of rumination, and turned it on. I hit play on my iPod, and David Crowder's You Alone was next on the randomized playlist. As I sang the words along with him, my eyes welled up with tears and I was never so proud to be a Christian. The irony struck me of leaving a powerless church that touts each spiritual journey as individual, that it doesn't matter who you serve -- juxtaposed with the lyrics of the song:
You alone are Father
You alone are good
You alone are Saviour
You alone are GOD.
Praise God for his redemption of fallen man, however that looks in eternity. As for my individual spiritual journey, I am pleased and honored to serve a King. I am grateful for His sacrifice. I am honored to be called His son. For me, today, there is power in the name of Jesus. I am my Beloved's and He is mine.
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