"What are you waiting for?"

The question, hanging in the air, was posed by John Karakker, and obviously had some twist on it that he wasn't quite ready to explain, mostly cause he wanted us to wrestle not only with our initial reaction to the question, but also with what the question could also mean. When rephrased, it turned out to be something of the sort, "I eagerly expect..." or "I can't wait for the day when..."

In thinking about what I'm waiting for, I realized that most of mine were of the type former, where each of us had initially viewed the question in terms of..."What are you waiting for to get off your ass and do something?" I feel like there are a lot of things that I am still waiting for or on. The list I compiled one morning this week overlooking the St. Johns follows. I hope your lists will as well.

I, in part, long to get married. I long for that intimacy with someone, someone to talk to and commune with, to love and to cherish, til death do us part. In a sense, the rest of my life hangs in that balance, is waiting on that. When asked if I like my job, I say, "For now. I love to travel and love what I do, but it will be tough to do what I do when I have a family..." I am waiting to start my 'adult' life until I have met he and we can chart that out together. What comes next for me hinges on her. In the meantime, I continue doing what I'm doing now because it's the closes thing to a calling that I have yet to experience, and because I somewhat enjoy myself.

I am waiting to grow up spiritually. Parents have to remind their children to brush their teeth. Make your bed. Go to class. Read that book. But not always. It'd be sad if my mom called every night to remind me to brush my teeth. I feel as if I've ventured out into the part of life where God is giving me the opportunity to mature and develop in my trust of Him by not holding my hand anymore. Where it used to seem so easy to know what I should move to next...

I long for the day when God tells me what to do. When I have a pure and holy passion. When I feel right about being in a relationship and want to pursue that out of love and who I am (and more importantly who Christ is working in me to be) instead of a place of obligation and feeling like I have to. Life was so black and white when He led me by the hand. I'm not real good at this whole making decisions that impact the rest of your life business...especially without reinforcement.

I long for the day when I don't feel like I am just drifting through life, but actually engaging and tackling it. This comes primarily from my need to achieve and succeed at what I do. In college I felt like I was living 100% out of my purpose, and since then I sort of feel as if I'm not sure what my next purpose is--and so I try to enage life, the lift that I've got, at least, day by day, the best I can, in a way just waiting for the day when I feel like I'm firing on all cylinders again.

I am waiting for restoration. Depression is not fun, and there are still too many days (and in too many ways) where I wrestle with depression and don't feel quite back to normal. I long for, and I'm waiting for, the day when that thorn is taken from my side, and for some reason I start to lose hope when I feel like Paul--that just perhaps it may never be so. If I were a city I'd be St. Petersburg or London or Seattle...almost eternally cloudy. I know that the sun exists beyond those clouds, it'd just be nice to see it once in a while...

I am waiting for the day that I understand the gospel and grace such that I let it make application in my life. that I won't live with fear or dread or self-deprecation or pride or selfishness or shame or regret. That Christ living in me and loving me is the only acceptance I need. That the gospel would be come my initial reaction instead of a vague afterthought...

I long for the redemption of the world, when things are set to right.

I am waiting for the renewing of my mind.

Existentialism on Prom Night

I hadn't seen this one before and thought it looked interesting. I started doing it and then realized that it was more interesting than I had previously thought, so I wrote them down. I wanted to share cause some of them are more than accurate, some of them are mildly humorous, and the rest just make no sense at all.

INSTRUCTIONS:
1. Put your iPod or other music player on shuffle.
2. For each question, press the next button to get your answer.
3. YOU MUST WRITE THAT SONG NAME DOWN NO MATTER HOW SILLY IT SOUNDS!

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IF SOMEONE SAYS "IS THIS OKAY" YOU SAY?
“A Thank You” Cool Hand Luke

WHAT WOULD BEST DESCRIBE YOUR PERSONALITY?
“On our Side” Chris Tomlin

WHAT DO YOU LIKE IN A GUY/GIRL?
“Butterflies” Pettidee

WHAT IS YOUR LIFE'S PURPOSE?
“Reasons” Melissa Myers

WHAT IS YOUR MOTTO?
“I’ll be good” Gospel Gangstaz

WHAT DO YOUR FRIENDS THINK OF YOU?
“Already Gone” further seems forever

WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT VERY OFTEN?
“temptation” Moby

WHAT IS 2+2?
“Track 01” JEW

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR BEST FRIEND?
“We don’t Play” Grits

WHAT IS YOUR LIFE STORY?
“On Fire” Switchfoot

WHAT DO YOU WANT TO BE WHEN YOU GROW UP?
“Now that you’re home” Manchester Orchestra

WHAT DO YOU THINK WHEN YOU SEE THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
“Make Room” Grits

WHAT DO YOUR PARENTS THINK OF YOU?
“God of Creation” David Crowder Band

WHAT WILL YOU DANCE TO AT YOUR WEDDING?
“In the back” Michael Jackson

WHAT WILL THEY PLAY AT YOUR FUNERAL?
“Shenandoah” Bruce Springsteen

WHAT IS YOUR HOBBY/INTEREST?
“Brand New Colony” the postal service

WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST SECRET?
“Ancient Man” Burlap to Cashmere

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR FRIENDS?
“Look After You” The Fray

WHAT'S THE WORST THING THAT COULD HAPPEN?
“Free” Delirious?

HOW WILL YOU DIE?
“Lie to Purify” Unearth

WHAT IS THE ONE THING YOU REGRET?
“Prairie Fire that Wanders About” Sufjan Stevens

WHAT MAKES YOU LAUGH?
“Tethered” The Myriad

WHAT MAKES YOU CRY?
“Unashamed” Lecrae

WILL YOU EVER GET MARRIED?
“King of Glory” Chris Tomlin

WHAT SCARES YOU THE MOST?
“forever” Moby

DOES ANYONE LIKE YOU?
“Isn’t it Love” Andrew Peterson

IF YOU COULD GO BACK IN TIME, WHAT WOULD YOU CHANGE?
“Supreme Quales, Arbiter” Summit Church

WHAT HURTS RIGHT NOW?
“Struck By the Chord” (of pride) Plankeye

WHAT WILL YOU POST THIS AS?
“Existentialism on Prom Night” Straylight Run