Restroom signs

I thought you guys might enjoy these. Creativity at it's finest... right here
http://www.nuacco.com/2007/08/13/which-door-should-i-choose/

q

ok, i'll just come out and say it, "YOU GO!" you went to atlanta a couple of years ago because you were passionate about impacting the lives of students. you went up this past weekend because you're passionate about impacting the lives of students.

yeah, things are crappy right now. but there will always be something not going right. you can't let that stop you from doing the work God has put before you. paul was flogged, beaten, shipwrecked, stoned, imprisoned numerous times, and even had a 'thorn in his flesh' that God wouldn't remove. but he knew that nothing other than forwarding the kingdom of God mattered.

where is that boat going???

so im sitting here in my coffee shop working on saturday at the lofts, which basically means that over the course of my 7.5 hour shift, i will probably have somewhere between 15-20 customers. this of course is great for blogging, not so great for the shop though.

i got back from atlanta wednesday afternoon and immediately started doing a bunch of just stuff. i have a pretty large life decision that needs to be made by jan 1, and im totally avoiding making it or even really thinking about it. i guess i kinda dont know what to do, or how to decide, but i have come to this conclusion, if i wanna do youth ministry then im gonna move to atlanta, and if i dont wanna do youth ministry, then im gonna stay in ft lauderdale and try and go to EMT and firefighting school, all the while mastering the fine art of being a barista...

i kinda feel like whichever one i choose i will wonder about the other one, i want to be confident, i remember that i used to be confident, i dont know what happened. well maybe i know what happened, but i dont know how to undo what has been done to my confidence. im pretty terrified to move to atlanta, i dont know if i can really hack it as a youth pastor, but at the same time im kinda afraid to stay here bc i dont know what the future holds. i dont wanna just sit, im so sick of just sitting and waiting, and all that nonsense, now is a time for action. i just dont know what action...

Slicker than a penny in the rain

I pretty much feel the way Josh does. I've been to Hell and back in the past, but things right now couldn't be any better--well, actually, a million dollars would be nice. And so I avoid posting, because I don't want to simply say, "I understand. Jesus loves you. God is in control." And like Tim said, I don't know exactly what ya'll are going through, but I can empathize with the pain.

I've been trying to read straight through the Bible for like the past 2 years and I'm finally in the minor prophets. Man, I love the minor prophets! I just read Habakkuk the other day and two things stuck out to me. 2:1, "I will stand at my watch and station myself on the ramparts; I will look to see what he will say to me and what answer I am to give to this complaint." Habakkuk has just laid out his questions and complaints before God and is like, "what the deuce?" But God's answer here--just like his answer in Job--does not try to explain his reasoning. He simply tells him who he is and why he's the one in charge. God is God. And we can question him all we want, but be prepared to receive an answer. And most likely be prepared to receive and answer you didn't want to hear and doesn't necessarily fix your problem.

The second thing is in 3:17-18, "Though the fig tree does not bud and there are no grapes on the vines, though the olive crop fails and the fields produce no food, though there are no sheep in the pen and no cattle in the stalls, yet I will rejoice in the Lord, I will be joyful in God my Savior." He's not saying that he will necessarily be happy with where he is in life. He's simply saying that he will rejoice and be happy in God. My life might suck right now, but praise God for filling my lungs with air and my body with the energy to wake up this morning. I may not have wanted to get up, but God wanted me to--praise God for wanting me to live today!

I leave you now with two of my favorite recent quotes to ponder over. The first is by musician Eric Peters. The second is from the movie The Darjeeling Limited:

"It is an odd series of days, I am realizing, when you question your own faith more than you question your own doubt."

"We haven't located where we are yet."

my Father's Eyes

I bought TWO Amy Grant albums today!

love

i just wanna say thats its really good for my heart to read what you guys write. i dont know why, but it just is...i love you guys

I am Happy- a confession

I don't really know what I'm about to write about, but I haven't written about anything in a while, so I'll write about that- about nothing maybe (how is that for the {over}use of about).
I was reading your blogs and I began to feel sad in a way- well helpless is more like it. You guys are GREAT friends. I know this time is hard for you, and there is nothing much I can do. But know I pray for you.
(I almost stopped there. Something about "misery loves company" is true. I didn't want to post because I felt kinda of guilty for not being miserable)
But you know what. I am not going to be miserable. Lord knows I have been miserable before (Dan, I'm pretty sure nobody has ever seen me cry [cry might be somewhat of an understatement] like you have), but now is not my time. I'm sorry. I can try if you want to, but it's not where I am right now. Life has seasons. I am in one, and so are you. You KNOW this. It is in your core. When you start your stream of consciousness it always comes out. After you have laid your guts out on the table of frustration, you always come back to some sort of "God is good". And I LOVE that. That is what David did. He threw it out there and said "God this F'n sucks" (pardon my Hebrew), but when he was done, as hard as it might have been, God was still God.
So I am happy. Life is freaking good. Granted, I sit in front of a small computer screen all day long, and by the time my wife gets home it is dark- but really every second of my day is awesome. There are no great moments. There is nothing I can tell you that made me feel this way. It just is. I just am- happy.
Utah is amazing. I really love the whole adventure and feel of it all. There is still a ton unknown, but I really have nothing to complain about ( I could try, but it would be futile).
An FCA speaker (in the new Densch) said something about how when you are up, prepare, because there is NO DOUBT that you will be going down soon, but if you are down, just hold on, because you won't be there long- I promise.
So I will prepare. You hold on. We'll do this life thing together. And when I am down, maybe you will know a better way to bring me up to join you.

I want you to know. I just can't tell you.

((from a journal entry 11-04-07))

Today I found my favorite spot in Orlando. It is intrinsically wonderful, filled with all the good things a one could want in a thing that is wonderful and good. Diverse plant life, various animals, the sounds of running water, bridges, hide-a-way spots, trails, park benches, wide-open-spaces, a small amphitheater for a midday tableau, etc. The type of place I want to be at every day.

What struck me the most is how largely unknown this personal paradise is. Despite being several blocks from major thoroughfares, there were surprisingly few people there. It is a secret. An anomaly. How is this delicate place of beauty so untraversed? I stumbled across an older couple on a trail that I was obviously making too much noise on. They quieted me quickly and motioned that I join them in looking at something. They pointed to an otter frolicking in the stream. I had startled him to motion and we watched as he swam up into a small pipe most likely serving as his front door. "Honey, I told you I should have brought the camera. The first time I leave the camera in the car is the first time we see an otter..." the lady went on. "Do you come here often?" I asked. The man jumped in, "Ever since I was about five."

I slowly began to collect that this was the type of spot only for locals, where outsiders were welcome, but by invitation only. This was no Cypress Gardens or Weeki Wachee--there are no advertisements touting "Orlando's greatest park" or "Florida's best wildlife". In fact I went home and tried to find it on Google Maps. As I suspected, it wasn't there. You can see it from the satellite view if you know what you're looking for, but there are no labels.

As I left, I was saddened by the fact that I did not have anyone beyond William Sydney Porter (O. Henry) and his "Magi" Jim and Della to share the experience with, but joyful with this new knowledge to share with everyone I knew. As I tried to think about telling someone about my discovery, I realized that there was no way I could do justice to what I had just witnessed. There was no way to communicate my experience. I could not simply tell someone about the spot that immediately became my favorite. I had to show them. I couldn't wait for the opportunity to bring someone with me to experience for themselves the joy of this place.

In a certain sense, my faith is similar to that day. I can try to articulate the reasons why I believe. I can try to tell you of it's grandeur or expound upon the subtle nuances that form the tipping point for utmost trust in a Man, yet So Much More Than A Man. There is no way that could be enough, though. I want you to experience this for yourself. I want to experience this with you. I want to live this out intimately with someone. I can point out the way, but something gets lost if that's all that is accomplished. There is ownership in discovery. There is joy in community.

return from a brief unintentional hiatus...

My apologies for the extended absence. It's not that I haven't had anything to write or that I haven't desired to read.

I think I'm afraid. I'm afraid of life. Afraid of asking questions. Afraid of the answers to those questions. The poet David Whyte states: "The price of our vitality is the sum of all our fears." I can't seem to rise above my fears yet to engage life. The cost just seems too high.

In the meanwhile the Enemy says ...be lazy...sit...rest...don't pursue...relax...go back to bed...don't ask...don't call... For some reason he wants me dormant. He wants me out of the battle. Disengaged. He's working hard to convince me that my fears and uncertainties and insecurities are more real and more correct than what Jesus says about me. "Be strong and courageous." "Do not be afraid." "I am with you."

But it's still easier to not move. After all...nothing will ever change if you don't change it. It's like in Jenga...as long as you don't pull the blocks out, you'll never win, but you'll also never lose. The wood pile will never fall that way. And so I sit. I don't call. I don't ask. And I wonder why God doesn't do anything. Why my support hasn't come in, even though I've got plenty of contacts and people who have said they're going to give, how come they haven't yet?! I could go to work if everyone who said they would write a check would just do so. I hate feeling like Dog the Bounty Hunter (with less racial slurs) when it comes to raising money. And why am I so unmotivated?

And for those of you who haven't heard, last week I started dating a really nice girl that kind of came up out of left field. I really totally wasn't looking for it at all, since I had my sights set somewhere else. While I feel like all of this could be a really good thing, I can't help but wonder, when do I step up and start taking charge of my life. Or as dan told me several years back to start living my life and stop letting life live me. It seems like every once in a while I can step up and make a decision and go for something, but as soon as I put myself out there it's only a matter of seconds before I'm back in the fetal position being blatantly bludgeoned again by the very vitality I was in pursuit of.

Its so tough to be so broken down so much of the time. "It was goin' pretty good when about halfway through the flap-coil valve burner started smokin, the hydro-pin spinner was burnin' off the manifold drive. I knew if I didn't over-flood the drive when I was gettin' some of that last pylon tryin' to underplate that hydro-coil, I knew if I couldn't do that, I was gonna have to shut her down..." And while Brian Regan still knows more about cars than I do, I continually find myself unable to start, rolling backwards down the very hill I'm trying to climb. How do I get back to the place in life where I feel as though I'm running on all cylinders again?

dan, I can't say that I understand, but I can say that I feel your pain. And you're more of a man than I, cause I'm generally more concerned about the shit that hits my fan than those closest to me.

And the only encouragement I can offer is "Press On." To what? I'm not really sure. Why? I'm not really sure. All I know (know is too strong--willfully want to believe is better) is that somehow, in someway, through all this God is supposedly faithful.

I need to believe that.

i loathe these titles

after just reading tian's post, i couldnt agree more that God is sneaky, and right now i'm in a place where i just am waiting for him to pop up and be like hey thats why all this stuff happened. im so unbelievably frustrated right now, im learning how little i truly trust in God and even in his sneaky-ness. i just found out shannon has a boyfriend now, and that just freaking rips my heart out, i dont understand so much about that. josh rosenthal wrote me a song titled "i dont wanna watch you love somebody else", and thats exactly how i feel. i dont understand how i can still love her, but she can be moved on so quickly. i wanna say so much more about that, but i dont think i will right now. but also today i found out that my dad, who has been jobless since june got turned down for another job that he thought he had, and 2 days ago i heard from my dad that my mom is going back on her depression medication because she is starting to slip back into depression. my mom was almost constantly depressed from about my 6th grade til i was finished with high school, and i know that a lot of it has to do with stress in her life, and part of her stress is my lack of direction, and my depression, and that kills me. and i know that it just kills my dad, and he feels guilty for it too. and its just really hard to see your family hurting a lot and then not be able to do anything about it yourself. i look at this situation and i know its a perfect sneaky God opportunity, but right now its just so hard to believe in that. i know my life isnt even close to as much in shambles as many many peoples lives, but i still feel like God, what the heck are you doing????? if i go through shit thats one thing, but i cant deal with it when other people i care about are and there is nothing i can do. and so right now i just feel freaking wounded, and worried, and i dont trust, i know that i dont trust God bc im constantly worried... im supposed to cast all my cares on God, but i dont even know what that means, and ive done that as much as i know how, and i just feel like God thats not working...where is the sneaky God? where? but even as i write this i think of pauls words, "who are you oh man to question the Almighty"...so i guess i just sit around and wait for God to be my hero? i guess thats all i can do...but even as i sit, im overwhelmed by how little i truly trust God... i dont truly trust him with my relationship, with my job, with where im gonna live, with my future, with my friendships, i dont trust that truth will be brought to the light, i have such unbelievable anxiety about all kinds of things, and i have no idea where this comes from bc im not an anxious person typically...i dont know...this is just a stream of consciousness, but im working at my coffee shop now and blogging seems appropiate, so here i am...

ugh i have no conclusion to this post, but im just freaking frustrated right now with life...and i feel like life is kicking my ass

Rain

The other night I was sitting on my front porch smoking my pipe and reading a book on hermeneutics. I didn't choose that book on my own. I have to read it for what's called a J-term class. Basically, you take a whole semester's worth of work and pack it into one week in January (hence J) of 5 ten hour days. It's a little something that I like to call 'hell on earth.'

Anyway, back to my front porch. So I'm out there taking advantage of the first night in a while where I can sit outside in a t-shirt, long sleeve shirt, and jacket, and not be freezing. As I'm out there reading it starts to rain lightly--or at least that's what it sounded like. Our street is pretty dark at night, and there weren't any puddles yet for me to watch for raindrop splashes. So I couldn't see anything that would indicate rain, but my ears were telling me the rain was there. I started thinking to myself, "man, rain can be sneaky sometimes." Sometimes you don't see it coming, other times you don't see it even when it does come.

I thought about God, and how he can be sneaky sometimes, too. Ever look back on the past 3 or 4 months and been like, 'man, I totally didn't see that at the time'? Or maybe you're stuck in a place and there seems like there's no way out, and you really can't see God in anything? He's there. You may not be able to see him, but if you listen closely you'll hear him. God's just sneaky like that.

location, location, location...

so today i dont have work...im super excited about that, particularly because im just so flipping confused in life about where to be. i talk to aj on the phone and hear about him and tim going and doing all this fun stuff and i think geez it sure would be nice to be in orlando. or i think about how much im struggling just to get by down here in south florida, and how much money its gonna cost me to move into my own place, and i think there has gotta be some place where its just a bit easier. or i even look at atlanta, and just think of all the things that i wouldnt have to worry about if i was up there, like money or health insurance, and i have friends up there, and it just seems easier to me. i was so excited to move down here, but i think a lot of that joy has been stolen by circumstances and struggles. im still planning on going and visiting the church in atlanta, hopefully next week if i can get 1 day off, but i wonder if that will do anything other than just add to my confusion. so today basically im gonna be praying about cities...im gonna be praying that God will guide me to one and give me the confidence that im supposed to be there. I made the move down here so quickly, im wondering if it was the right thing to do, but i suppose that only time will tell. if any of you read this today, if you wanna pray for me as i pray about this, i would appreciate it...thanks gents, much love

Checkems

I'm sure you've all heard the controversy over the movie The Golden Compass. There are even facebook groups protesting the movie. I've recently read two very good blogs that are not just about the movie and how the author wants to kill God, but also about the storyline of all three books. The second one reads more like a book review, but definitely from a Christian perspective:

http://www.almohler.com/blog.php

http://www.rabbitroom.com/?p=281#more-281

1 Samuel 18:27

Really the whole chapter is pretty odd, since it's Saul at his craziest. But this is kinda the pinnacle of all the weirdness.

"David and his men went out and killed two hundred Philistines. He brought their foreskins and presented the full number to the king so that he might become the king's son-in-law. Then Saul gave him his daughter Michal in marriage."

new ideas

Ok. I have an idea. We all know that the Bible has all kinds of verses that are just plain ridiculous... especially when out of context. I issue a challenge to all of you. Post your favorite ridiculous Bible verse. Maybe it is something gross, or maybe something you just wouldn't expect, or even just plain hard to digest. Whatever the case, it will probably make you say, "can the Bible really say that?"
The winner will get... to be the winner. yay
Ok. I'll get it started with the oh so obvious Ezekiel 23. That is perverted man!
whatcha got?